Finding Your Management Style — The “Sum of All Parts” Method
If you’re new to management, finding your unique style can be difficult. Work through this exercise to get started.
If you’re new to management, finding your unique style can be difficult. Work through this exercise to get started.
Start off with a few basic questions. You may be further along in identifying your style than you think.
How do I act?
What’s important to me?
How do I handle difficult situations?
What’s my baseline?
If I had to interview for my own job, what would I say my style is?
Ultimately, your management style is molded by those who manage you. We emulate those that went before us, whether we do so consciously or unconsciously. Can you articulate your style or brand?
Let’s take a look at the parts that create us as managers and how we can harness that power to craft your own unique management style. I’ve used the below method with a few mentees and it’s been an awesome building block, especially for newer managers.
My best suggestion is “write these things down.” Writing them down will be helpful for the final section, “Core Values,” and you’ll be able to see how your style evolves over the years.
Why have a style anyway?
Excellent question. Having a particular management style is helpful to create consistency in how you behave. Not just behavior with direct reports, but behavior with peers, your own managers, and yourself.
By having a style and being consistent with that style, those around you will know what to expect and how you’ll react from situation to situation. There’s nothing worse than the dread of not knowing how your manager will respond when things go wrong.
Having a management style also helps you build on your authentic leadership. People tend to sniff out inauthenticity pretty quick, even in remote environments. Building a style that is authentic to who you are will give you solid footing for anything the workplace throws at you.
Now we know more of the why, so let’s look at one way to build or determine your style.
Things You Don’t Want to Do
If you’ve had a boss, you likely have a few stories where they made you frustrated, demotivated, or feeling like you were on an island. These sorts of feelings can help you shape the “do nots” of your management style.
I had a manager that belittled me enough to make me question if I was in the right career. I never want to make someone feel that way, so never belittling/berating individuals is a part of my style (even though it feels like a no-brainer).
Think back across all of your bosses. What were the things that kept you awake at night, made you feel insecure, or generally left a bad taste in your mouth?
Some other questions to ask:
When did I not feel supported with my previous managers?
When did I feel most alone?
What conversations made me angry?
What behaviors annoyed me?
Were my 1:1s with my bosses effective?
What made me lose motivation?
These are not fun questions to ask because they can bring up some sore spots, but the intention is to remember how you felt. When you felt the worst in your role, what did your manager do to make you feel that way?
Write down your thoughts and begin to craft your list of actions you will avoid as you evolve your style. The “do nots” form a helpful baseline for how not to act as a new manager.
If you’re fortunate enough to not have a large list here, think about what you wish your manager would have done. Keep those in mind as we move to the next section.
Things You Do Want To Do
This list tends to be longer unless you only had tremendously awful bosses. It’s also more fun to think about. Think through your roles and how you interacted with your manager.
A previous manager would ask “how are you doing as a human today?” The question itself felt a bit corny, but the intent is something I still use with every direct report.
How are you doing personally? Work is work, but things outside of the workplace can have an outsized impact. To build trust and help you grow, I want to know more about you as a person.
Ask yourself some of the following questions and write down your answers:
When did I feel inspired?
When was I most engaged?
What little things did my boss do to make me feel supported?
What big things did my boss do to make me feel supported?
What opportunities were given to me?
I appreciated it when…
All of the above questions can shed light on areas you’d like to emulate with your team(s). Think critically about the action and the feeling that went along with it.
Think aspirationally as well, how would you want those who report to you to answer these questions? Write down your thoughts and let’s move on to the next section.
Your Non-Starters
“Only a Sith deals in absolutes.” Well, check and mate Obi-Wan, that statement is itself an absolute.
When we think about absolutes in management styles, we think about non-starters. A non-starter is a non-negotiable; something you’re not willing to waver on, regardless of situation.
I don’t tolerate finger-pointing because it’s a waste of time and ignores root causes to problems, while also creating unnecessary conflict and tension. That is a non-starter for me. I will fight all day to combat ego-driven blame sessions, because it goes against my core values.
Now you try:
What are you unwilling to tolerate?
What do you expect from everyone, including yourself?
In conversations, what behaviors will you shut down or correct immediately?
What must people do on your team, department, company?
Even if it’s aspirational, write it down. Say it out loud and try it on. Does it feel attainable? Or does it feel like a command-and-control tactic from the 48 Laws of Power?
Core Values
With all of the above sections filled out, take a look at the lists before you. What are the patterns or commonalities between all of them? Are there threads that connect between each point?
The threads and patterns you find will shape your core values or the things you hold true as a manager.
For me, transparency, ownership, and collaboration are the core values I hold most dear (levity is close to third).
Write down three to five values and run them by someone that knows you well. Do they agree? Do you emulate those core values daily?
Remember that we’re creating a style that will help with managing consistently. Are your values livable and repeatable day in and day out?
Final Thoughts
Over the next weeks, think about the lists you’ve written down. Check in with yourself on how you are doing to either “do” or “do not.” Review the list quartlery to see if you still feel the same way. Are all the items still relevant? If not, why not?
Did you find this exercise helpful? Let me know in the comments!
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